.thinking.out.loud.

Pastel Hybiscus

2009-10-20T12:13:00.009-05:00

I've been super left brained lately drawing furiously and loving it! ;) This is an extended piece for my Drawing I class where I really focused on blending with the pastels, a medium thats a real challenge to me! This hybrid hybiscus lives in my front yard among a whole family of them!

/Just Nikki

My Masterpiece: Sonny

2009-09-21T12:11:00.000-05:00

I'm also taking Art Appreciation and I think I'm the only Art Major in there so I completely look like the "over-achiever"! lol That's okay. ;) Our assignment was to create a piece of "non-representational" art (not representing or depicting an image of a known object, person, or place) with found objects. Also, I was to use one of the seven principles of design and I concentrated on Emphasis and Subordination. Therefore, I used some material left over from where I repaired my house because my crazy dog tears up door frames and casings to get in or out of the house and rooms. So, with a 5ft by 3ft sheet of durock (that had a rectangle already cut out of it), joint compound, paper towel cores cut into one inch ringlets and thirty-two hours later... I created this masterpiece!

I used java bean brown, daffodill yellow, lodge green and eggshell white (since it was actually the only paints I had available) to paint the piece however, it turned out mardi gras lookin ;) But, in my mind the colors brown, yellow and white mixed together create the color of my dog's fur therefore, they represent my dog, Sonny, playing in the green grass; Since the materials used were because of her I named the piece "Sonny".

/Just Nikki

Gesture Drawing and Extended Still Life in my Drawing I Class

2009-09-18T12:02:00.004-05:00

I've been sketching away these past few weeks for my Drawing I class and out of them all, these three are my favorite. This first sketch is an Extended Still Life where I used my new earthtone charcoals. The anchor was brought up from the Gulf of Mexico from 60 feet and the unbleached sand dollar came from a depth of 102 feet.

Last week, we learned the ins and outs of Gesture Drawing. I love this style of drawing motion and found it to be real effective in capturing the motion of my sucker fish in my 55 gallon aquarium. Eventually, I'd like to do an extended piece of them, perhaps change mediums and get in front of a canvas with my acrylic paint!

This last one is from last week, of a small statue I have, and is an extended piece that started out more like Contour Drawing, then a little of Gesture Drawing layered on top. Finaly, I zeroed in on the details and feel that it turned out real nice; Funny thing is I was going to throw it away after my first stab at it, glad I didn't now!

/Just Nikki

Drawing 1 - 5 sketches done, 70 more to go!

2009-08-23T11:20:00.001-05:00

My first drawing class has me super busy! My instructor, Steven Dark, has sentenced our class to draw 5 additional sketches a week along with our other drawing projects. For our first week, we were told to draw things from our kitchens.

This first one I drew, an onion, I was referencing a decorative tile along the tiled walls of my kitchen.

I love pineapples! I began this sketch after being inspired by a painted wooden pineapple that sits in my kitchen window seal. I drew my inspiration, not the actual pineapple.

I decided to choose this "thing from my kitchen" since this empty bottle of Gentleman Jack reminded me of how much fun I had at Pirate's Cove for the Fourth of July!

This idea came from the front of one of my favorite recipe books although, I wrote MY favorite recipe under the measuring spoons instead- Cream Cheese Pound Cake!

Finally, an array of silverware which as most inspirations came to me as I was completely doing something else... I pulled the silverware drawer to grab a spoon for my yogurt and "AHA! I WILL DRAW SILVERWARE!" lol

/Just Nikki

First Week at FSCC

2009-08-21T08:18:00.010-05:00

I've attended all my classes except my anthropology class and I'm excited! One of my highschool best friends little sister is in two of my classes. She tore off a piece of paper to write her number down for me and I had the biggest de je vu of her sister and I passing notes in highschool! ;) I miss you Shelley King!

I have to complete five sketches a week for my Drawing 1 class... which I'm thrilled about and reveled in buying new art supply! My instructor is actually the last artist I okayed to be featured in the fifth issue of Budzushammer before I resigned!

I finally feel like I'm in school for the right Major! Granny use to always tell me that I should Major in Art but, I could never figure out what exactly I would do with an Art Major... now that I've discovered my love for graphic design within the last two years... I guess I now know! Sometimes, I feel Granny is right there making things happen for me. For example, I have this weird thing about preferring the front desk to the left of the teacher's desk, second row from the wall... for whatever reason that only God knows, that particular desk gives me As! In my Drawing 1 class, that desk wasn't hard to get concidering there are less than 10 of us in there... my art appreciation class however, has like 30 or something and was 95% filled up when I arrived... but the one desk that I wanted was available! And again last night, I arrived to English 102 with a 95% filled class already and MY desk was still available! It's a fantastic sign! I miss you Granny!

/Just Nikki

Wish You Were Here Scooter

2009-08-05T21:20:00.004-05:00

One year ago, right at this very moment, Scooter and I were having our last conversation... He had already been to Wal-mart for the rope, he had already driven out to the woods, and was on the phone with me... Unknowingly, I was driving in the opposite direction of him on the same road it happened on... not believing a word he was saying... trading heros for ghosts without realizing it...

Sometimes, I don't know whether to love him or hate him... but I sure as hell miss him! We all miss him...

Wish you were here Scooter...

/Just Nikki

Returning to FSCC

2009-07-30T09:12:00.002-05:00

Can't wait to take Sarah to storytime at the Library this morning! ;) I'm backing out of sending her to Pre-school... I'm not ready! My little girl is growing up too fast! Next year is her technical year anyways... me on the other hand? Discovered a Pell Grant and finishing my Assoc. in Art! The instructor that helped me register at FSCC was cool, after figuring out that I was a returning student he asked me how I did in Dr. Spivey's Biology 101? (Which mind you, A students make B's in there and are excited about it, Dr. Spivey is that hard!) so, I told him I made a 99 average in there and he stopped what he was doing and looked up at me jaw dropped... lol I just laughed and said I KNOW! I have NO excuse not to have graduated by now! lol Gave me some good encouragment though and I'm stoked about having English 102, I could really enjoy some structured writting! ;) Drawing 1 is gonna get me going, maybe I'll finish my charcoal sketches! ;) I promised Paw Paw that I'd go back to school if nothing else... and finish! therefore, I am.

/Just Nikki

Sea World & the Monsoons

2009-07-15T08:01:00.004-05:00

Singing "Sweet Home Alabama, Lord I'm comin' home to you!" Sarah was begging to come home the moment Huck and I got to Tampa! We had to convince her to go to Sea World ;) Which our Sea World "DAY" turned into TWO half days because it MONSOONED the first day!! We were drenched... soaked... had to make a run for it through the park and HOPE that we were going the right way!! Sarah was a real trooper even though right before we made it out of the shin deep floods of Sea World she says "I can't take this anymore..." lol

Whale Kiss

Sea World Day TWO started out all kinds of wrong including a 65 mile detour... also known as "missed the exit"! lol It did monsoon again, KAYLA YOU WERE RIGHT!! ;) However, this time we took cover in a gift shop and remained dry until we decided to make a run for it to go eat with the sharks! ;) The best detail really is that we were there together enjoying ourselves, rain or shine! ;) Too, we ended up with some great pics and vids with the new cam! I bought it online the day before we left and had it shipped to my mom's: it's waterproof!! ;) I can't imagine how many cameras and other electronics were ruined in the Sea World Monsoons!

It's back to work for me! Lining up two more shoots with Ron Jordan for next week and landed the Axe Angel Promo Event in August!! Speaking of August... I officially am looking for a Pre-school for Sarah... Scary, I'm not ready for her to grow up! Neverland it is! ;)

/Just Nikki

Pirates Cove 4th of July

2009-07-01T11:36:00.009-05:00

Well the avacado is doing fantastic! It's July 1 officially and I only blogged twice last month... some blogger I am! Actually, I was too busy blogging for swimwear and a trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico! Turns out, I won $400 worth of UjENA Swimwear and a trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico... but, do I buy a flight and a passport that may or may not be here in time to go where they are currently against gringos and apparently are all in some drug war frenzy? And, I know I can't go alone, people go missing!

This morning was the first I've ever seen at Pirate's Cove... never spent the night there before! lol I love the fact that Pirates Cove is as much apart of Huck's heritage as it is mine! Also, last night Rick and I realized that he's known me since I was two years old... craziness, huh! I'm convinced that paradise doesn't age you at all!

I can't wait to relax all weekend long in my new handmade swimwear at Pirates Cove for the Fourth of July! Cheers to us meeting six years ago and finding such fantastic chemistry between two people, two friends and ultimately two lovers... then its on to a roadtrip to Tampa, Florida to go ride horses and pick up that little stinker, Sarah! I MISS HER SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!

/Just Nikki

Yes, I am Defloyd's Daughter... ;)

2009-06-11T08:21:00.006-05:00

Last Sunday, Sarah and I drove down to a local spot that I literally have grown up in... as well as my father... since diapers for us both! Good ol' Pirate's Cove! So, there in this riff raff watering hole, I'm known as "Defloyd's Daughter" EVERYWHERE I turn! lol From Rick the infamous and ultimate hippie bartender to the random customers that come through which some seem to be more like residents of the Cove! ;)

The even more hilarious part of this story is the part where 40 something year old men are coming up to me professing how beautiful I am and then I tell them who I am and it never fails... its become a broken record, "Your Defloyd's Daughter?!" Maybe it's that my father is the infamous one at Pirate's Cove... and I just simply don't hang out there enjoying the sweet hippie carefree life in paradise often enough like him! lol I love you, Dad!

However, Sarah and I are going to go to his condo and relax on the beach with him and the crew... then its Sailing on Airtime Too with Huck and Mr. Craig! Today is going to be FABULOUS!

/Just Nikki

My Avacado Plant, My Big Secret & More...

2009-06-10T19:03:00.008-05:00

Hey look! My Avacado is really doing great!! It's leaves are huge!! Hopefully by October I'll be able to plant it in a yard that belongs to a house that I own! Talked to the bank yesterday, cross your fingers for me! ;)

Dad and his girlfriend rented a condo for the week... You know I never understood why they rent a condo in order to drink and lay on the beach for "vacation"... why don't they just drive the 10 minutes it takes to get to the beach from their house! lol Although, I have to admit, the view from the 10th floor is beautiful! Us locals really take this for granted!

So yea, the secret is out... I did a sexy swim suit shoot to make a calendar for Huck... which it arrived yesterday and it's awesome! Cheers to One Calendar Year of being the BEST OF FRIENDS! ;) I love you!

/Just Nikki

It's Been Amazing!

2009-05-31T08:51:00.002-05:00

I've had an amazing week! Thursday, I posed in a yellow french cut bikini with black eight inch platforms on Huck's Suzuki GSXRR 1000 at sunset on the beach... and the rest of that story is under wraps for awhile... too be continued! ;)

Then Friday, as Sarah and I were playing our online bella sara horse game, I discovered that she can play the game BY HERSELF; Total mouse control and all! She's THREE AND A HALF!

Finally Saturday, I landed the Coty Fragrance Event at Bell Air Mall through Cosmetic Promotions and did fantastic! I sold sixty percent of my focused product: Halle by Halle Berry and her Gift Sets! Come by and see me this Saturday at the Fragrance Counter in JC Penny's within the Bell Air Mall in Mobile! ;)

Today is my niece's birthday party so Sarah will for sure play her heart out there! As for the rest of this week?! I'm helping long time friend Stayce pack and move to Daphne... and anticipating previewing the binkini shoot photos! Yay! ;)

/Just Nikki

Avacado Seed: Planted ;)

2009-05-27T09:07:00.000-05:00

My Myspace Stalker

2009-05-22T18:48:00.000-05:00

About this time last year, Jeremy (Huck as we all know him) and Kristen were splitting as well as Scooter and I... By mid June, Huck and I began talkin again, just like old times... the both of us pissed off at the world over another relationship gone sour... just like Summer of 2003... I've always been told that history repeats itself!

However, this time... his ex is stalkin me... myspace stalkin! lol flattering, really!

Actually, now that it's been nearly a year I've come to realize it's just simply her realizing what she let go... I've done this before... and it's a real empty feeling but one that I feel we must all have felt before we can ever truely appreciate any relationship... great guys, and girls for that matter, are hard to come by... don't let them go for no reason. If you leave your spot in the bed open, someone will fill it.

And one wants to argue that "Well, she left him!" So what, that has nothing to do with it, we all make mistakes... some we just can never realize until its too late and there's no way to correct it; and all your heart wants to do is to go back to the way things use to be...

Honestly, my heart goes out to Kristen... for months before we realized it (and still isn't how we were told), the poor thing desperately tried her best to get our attention through her own myspace updates by referenceing mine and Huck's inside jokes all in effort to make sure that we'd know she was dating Huck's best friend and former room mate, Paul... Talk about going to great lengths to find daggers for open wounds!

But going from Huck to Paul? Did your stalking addiction get the best of you? You gotta go suck all the "eye witness accounts" and info outta Paul to suffice your addiction to stalking us? lol Ask him how my cooking tastes! Oh and might I add, not only does Paul have a lack of respect for other people's relationships and marriages, Paul shaves his ass... enough said.

Actually... I knew long before Huck that she was dating someone... someone most likely that Huck knew because of one particular update I read back in February; I kept it to myself, I have no intentions of helping her to get under Huck's skin just because she's jealous of the fact that I exist in Huck's life... and quite frankly, I didn't just fill her shoes after she left him either, I gave her sneakers to charity and and pulled my sexy stilettos out of Huck's closet and blew off the dust! ;)

A few things I've been dieing to tell her: I am THE girl from his unbelieveable "this girl raped me" story from back in the day... ;P lol And apparently I haven't been too far from his mind all these years since I noticed he kept a painting I gave him years ago... in fact I believe it hung in their house in North Carolina.... hey Kristen! does a 2x3 OSB Abstract Martini by NIKKI sound familar!!!

But most importantly, thank you Kristen. Thank you for doing all the work to domesticate Huck for me... Thank you for showing him an ounce of family life and thus making him hunger for it. Thank you for your unstable emotions that have helped provide a miraculous way to give Huck and I something we somehow use to never come across, GREAT TIMING! Huck and I have turned each other down many a time over timing be it for him or me... and now finally, our chemistry has been given more than just a "Friends with Benefits" opportunity or even our obviously admired "Vacation Buddy" chance! Here's to you Kristen, Cheers!

/Just Nikki

What's in Your Window Seal?

2009-05-18T15:07:00.000-05:00

Most of us keep different random things in our kitchen window seals; my grandmother use to always have plants... and I carry on the tradition!

I have grown an avacado plant before however, it was consumed by my house fire last October... before it was burned it had already grown as tall as I am and was in need of actual planting!

Last January, I began this long process again! I started two and just last week or so the one on the right began to show it's root system and stalk... now we have it's first leaves!

I hope that the one of the left isn't a dud! Either way, I won't be eating avacados that I've grown for quite some time; they say it takes an avacado plant ten years to produce fruit!

/Just Nikki

Congrats to Jeremy&Jaime :)

2009-05-17T14:44:00.000-05:00

Huck escorted me to Jeremy and Jaime's wedding yesterday... it was a classic catholic "stand up, sit down, pray, stand up, sit down, communion, stand up, sit down, pray some more" mass ceremony... which, to each their own! ;)

The reception was small, structured, quaint yet, dry (as in no alcohol)... and the buffet organization was great! Only two tables at a time were allowed to get their food so it didn't look like a mass of hungry animals up there! lol I think everyone really enjoyed themselves!

Years ago, when I first found out they were dating, I was angry...

Excerpt from Words Upon Pages... July 2004

"... after today's events i stopped by the mall just to meander around in my own lil' world... low and behold i run into people i know!... so its "hey how ya been, haven't seen u in awhile" type conversation with jamie... one of my absolute closest friends in highschool... we were in band together for four years, the later half we were the drum majors... needless to say, i spent alot of time with this person... almost sisters...

... so not two minutes into the conversation and she says to me "u'll never guess who i'm dating... i've left evan for good"...

... evan was her first love i guess... they were together for five years...

... unexpecting me is standing there waiting for the grand name of the hour only to find out that the two people i respected the most from highschool had just betrayed me... betrayal of all betrayals... jeremy and jamie...

... she says "isn't that cool?! are u speechless? how do u feel about that? i wanted to be the one to tell u"...

... devastated i only said "wow, i duno, i just found out... i guess take care of em, he use to be a good guy"...

... what am i to say to that... someone i was with for nearly two years is dating the chic i was so close to when he and i were together?...

... we dismissed and i walked away so numb... no feelings... cause its not like i'm in love with jeremy and i'm just dieing to have him back... its that u just don't do that... that's like me dating evan... i have enough respect for jamie not to even let that cross my mind...

... i think what even bothers me more is the nonshalantness that showed through her voice, the "oh btw"...

... and i know we've all moved on since good ol' american highschool, but the good memories i had from then were of and with jeremy and jamie... as my best friend my boyfriend... not as a couple...

... whats even more twisted is that someone i've trusted for years and years encouraged them to get together... seth. interresting isn't it...

... what if i had not been over jeremy yet and this happened? i'd of gone mad... duno what i would've done... but its been a year since then and i guess we've all moved on... never saw that comming tho... guess thats why its got me thinking... thinking about how many glances they passed behing my back... wondering if i was dicked over the entire time? wondering why i'm the fool in the end... or feel like it anyways... "

I feel much different now... five years of dedicated work towards a relationship is admirable! I guess that's where the growing up and maturing part comes in... ;)

Admittably, I was nervous at the wedding... my hands shook when I took pics, tons of them came out blurry... my cheeks trembled as I posed for pics along with them... along with him... I didn't except or foresee that out of me. But, I was his "Cara", his "Kristen", I broke his heart for no reason. Nevertheless, I looked my best and paid my respects to both families and couldn't be more happier for the both of them; they are both responsible for making my highschool memories so wonderful and a joy to remember!

/Just Nikki

Who Am I Now?

2009-05-14T11:48:00.002-05:00

With my new blog, I'd like to recap, rethink and reevaluate the last 7 years of my life that exists within the words of my old blog, Words Upon Pages... as well as compare and contrast to what my life has become.

Who am I now?

I have found myself staring in the mirror wondering this question often enough that I've decided to find the answer... and it's got to be within me!

Excerpt from Words Upon Pages: First Entry
"but as of today, march eighth two-thousand and three, my father celebrates his 41st birthday. my youngest sister, kelsey and i had dinner with him at tacky jacks in orange beach. my mom is at home, sick on the couch. my other sister, kayla is there with her visiting for the weekend. my brother, kenneth is fishing. my grandparents, my father's parents, are disappointed in me. my life has done so many 180's in the past six months... but maybe i've found myself? jeremy and i are back together. i miss my best friend shannon. i'm ready to graduate highschool. i don't want to go to college. and i thought i knew someone, but turns out... i didn't know him at all, miah. i just don't know where to begin sometimes..."

And now you ask?

Well, it's May 14, 2009... My father is at work, he's a Real Estate Agent, and my sister is at school, it's literally days until she's a Junior! ;) My mother lives in Tampa, Fl. and is probably taking care of horses with my other sister Kayla lol My brother is living in Lakeland, Fl. and I hear he's got the ladies around his fingers! My grandparents have changed quite a bit, Granny passed away November 8, 2007 and Paw Paw just turned 83. His health is down hill but his will to live is alive and well!

Apprently, I was looking for myself then too... and here I am wondering who I am again? Seems to be a pattern! lol

Funny that Jeremy Felix and I had just got back together then because, I'll be attending his wedding Saturday... and not as the one in white either! lol I still miss my best friend Shannon, she was living in Birmingham, Ala. then and now she's in Memphis, Tenn. :( And Miah and I talk every now and then, the most important detail there is that we actually still talk! lol No, Miah is that one friend that no matter how long we go without catching up, we pick up right where we left off... and really I like it that way! Less chance to argue! ;)

And the "I want"'s, "I don't want"'s and "I'm ready to"'s are now as of today I want to buy a house, I don't want to cry anymore and I'm ready to move on with my life.

When I began my old blog, I was 18, about to graduate, trying to hold on to a highschool sweetheart but really wanting to be freed... but with freedom comes responsibility. Which now that I'm 24, a parent and a widow, I guess all I found was responsibility. Too, the man that I want to move my life on with I met just four months after beginning my old blog... I've made one giant circle!

This is my new blog. A place to examine my past for answers to who I have become... Just Nikki.

/Just Nikki

Today, I begin a new blog...

2009-05-04T10:17:00.000-05:00

I've been a writer since I was literally 5 years old. I had proof of that up until October of last year when the little black cloud that huddles over me struck again and burnt down my house. I have had an LJ, a Live Journal for those of you that are unfamiliar, for years online although, I have been scarcely writing... I believe I began my LJ sometime before I graduated highschool; I am now on the brink of a quarter of a century. However, its time to begin fresh, get back to writing and only use my past in my LJ to enlighten my future. Today, I begin a new blog. :)

/nik